Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Feels Like a Breakup

How do you breakup with "friends"? We have a Bible Study we have been part of for a little over a year. We made a few friends out of it, but never quite fit in the group. We are the blacksheep of the group, since all most all of them have grown up in very, very conservative homes and mostly Baptist roots. (Not that there is anything wrong with that) But we have very different views. We have decided not to continue on with the group. It was not too hard of a decision for us. There were many reasons to name other than our schedules and the time of the study, but we just stated that it was our schedules. We still will see these people at church. I am sure it will be ackward for some time when we see them. We kinda did the "post it note" break up with them; it was via e-mail to the leaders. Kinda schmucky I know but we dread even going to this study we didn't even want to go to tell them in person...Sad but true. That brings me to what a Bible study is normally about...


I am used to a group where people openly share their prayer requests, questions and discuss the Bible. I am definately not the most perfect person and people who do not have personal prayer requests make me very nervous. Plus, I feel like they are not honest. Not that they have to lay out all their personal laundry, but they cannot have that perfect of a life that they do not need prayer! We all need prayer. I always need it. If you are not willing to open up to a group of people who like you are Christians and are supposed to be there for you, something is wrong. You meet with these people every week and never open up? Also there needs to be open discussion about the Bible. I am not a brick and morter type person. I am used to discussing and having different takes on the Bible. I believe it helps us learn and who knows, maybe someone else has something you need to hear that may be different from what you believe.

I have been reading a book that has changed alot of things for me. It is called Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell. I love this book. It really has brought up some good points about being legalistic and just how much of it there is. I feel and know it inhibits growth within our church community. I have felt this personally when I was in this group. They do not facilitate discussion. There is one way and only one way to interpret the text and I believe that is wrong. If it were true, that is sad. The Bible is a living book and it can have different meanings for you depending on your circumstances. In his book Rob Bell talks about having more of a non-brick & morter type faith. It is more of a tramopoline, the basics of Christianity are the inner bouncy part and everything else is the springs attached to it. They bend and move. But the core is still the same even if you remove a spring. That is more what I feel like. I believe Jesus is God, that He died for us and our sins before we were born or first sinned. We must accept him to be "saved" from our sins and the punishment of eternity without God. We can accept this or not, no amount of works will substitue for this. Other than that, there are many grey areas in which things fall, and can be looked at in different ways. This is why we really left the group, they hold that everything must be their way, so guess what...We took the highway.

3 comments:

Christina said...

Rach, we can relate on the leaving a group/church part. We had to do that a few months ago and it was like a nasty breakup...uh, I just wanna be friends didn't quite cut it for them and that was hard. We felt bad, but God has led us to a wonderful new church and small group and we feel like they are such a good fit now. You'll be in my prayers girl.

Amber said...

Rach, you guys left for good reason...you need to find a group that is suited to both you and Nate. It is sad that people have to get hurt feelings over that kind of thing. I don't know how many times we had a new couple come to group and never come back! I just knew that it wasn't the right fit for them, that's all. I'll pray that you guys find a small group you enjoy!

Jason Morris said...

I think the e-mail is okay. Many people would just stop showing up and wait until someone asked "what's up?" you addressed the issue in the least aggressive manner, which is important. sometimes airing the list of complaints doesn't work...especially if you plan to continue seeing these people at church. of course, if you were leaving the church, you could just let them have it. i'm sure you'll find something that works.