Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Updates

Update for the Fairchild’s. We are doing alright. Nate’s meeting with the boss went well. There is no non-compete clause that he signed. Now we are just waiting on Lilly to give him the interview. Please pray for God’s will still. I know what I want to happen but I want God’s will above it. He is nervous and I am anxious so we have it covered, but are trying to keep it in perspective. So all hopefully will be sorted out soon. The contract is ending soon, like 3 more weeks I believe…
As for the other situation…Nate & I have always had a heart for adoption. We are starting to pursue this. We have been looking at our options and think we have decided on one. I am excited about it and we had decided a while ago but other things happened and we put it off. Please pray we make the right decision. This is a big one! Please pray it goes smoothly and that this is what we are supposed to be doing. After 2 years of trials, I am ready to have a smooth process. Nothing ever seems easy but as long as it is God’s will I am fine with it.
I know many people have gong through this situation and genuinely feel for them and understand. I am trying to keep a good perspective on everything and not get caught up in the time. I feel like I am getting old and don’t want to be 40 with a 5 year old. I know I am not old per se but feel like it when everyone else I know is several kids into the mix. We are the lone rangers on the two person family front. In Bible Study and with our friends. We love Zeke but he doesn’t count on that…
Please pray for both situations, I don’t want to be anxious about either but it is hard not to.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Nervous

I am very nervous today. Nate has a meeting with his boss and he is going to discuss Lilly wanting to give him a contract. This is great news except there is like the 1% chance he is not sure if he signed a Do not compete clause. If he did we are in trouble. Lilly really wants to hire him and his contract is ending with them in 5 weeks, if he cannot take the job with Lilly, he will be in the outside office with some not so happy bosses and he will have to start traveling heavily, which he is not happy about. I have been praying all day so far and feel nervous still.

I keep repeating "Do not be anxious about anything but in everything, by prayer & petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to the Lord." Philippians 4:6

This is my mantra lately anyways. I think I dream it too. I just had to unload my nervousness. Nate is going in after work to talk to them, so hopefully they will let him just move directly over to Lilly. They have been making cutbacks at his current job anyways, so this may be a load off. Either way they are losing the contract for Lilly, which means mega bucks gone for his current company and they would have to probably lay off two people or so it is in their best interest to let him go too. I will be nervous till I hear from him tonight. Nate is asking for prayer in this matter and that God's will is done and that it goes smoothly.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Prayer & Endurance

Prayer is easy. Patience comes with time and enduring through trials. I prayed for patience in college and have never prayed for it since. I have learned that praying for it once was sufficent for me. Because God has been instilling it in me since them. The past 10 years have been me praying to not be patient anymore. (I say this in jest, kinda) I have always had to wait a long time (to me) for what I would like. I pray and pray and pray, then pray some more. I have been praying lately for guidence, clarity and strength to endure. There are things in my life I wish for, pray for constantly. One which comes seemingly very easy to everyone else, but not me. I struggle with this very much, especially since it is something I want soooooooo very badly. I want a baby. I am just fine with adoption but I would love to experence this myself. Either way it is not a "quick" thing. In birth there is the gestation period of course that I would have to wait through, or with adoption there is the year or maybe even longer that you have to wait. When you have been trying for two years, either feels like an eternity, as have the past two years.
We had decided on adoption but then other things happen that make me think that God is blessing us with a child of our own, but that is still not so...my body is just messing with my emotions. I have not been praying for patience but lately for endurance; that I may endure with grace the trials God is allowing in my life. I know God will never test us beyond what we can handle, but I feel as if he is really pushing me to my limit. I also know every seeming verse about prayer and patience which everyone is very quick to point out to me. I pray them often...and still do not feel content.
We are the only people of all our groups without children. I think that is the hardest. Everyone has fun kid stories to tell, we have cat stories or house stories. It is hard to find people without children our age to hang out with and if we were to find them they wouldn't be doing what we would want to do. This is a hard age pushing 30 without children. Most friends are at least on their second and even some on their third. Even our new Bible Study is filled with parents. We again are the only ones...
I guess I just need to vent, it was a rough week and sad things happened and for friends that read this please just pray for endurance and clarity for me. Please don't pray for patience, that is the last prayer I want prayed because everytime it is prayed, it leads to something for me to be patient for.