So we had our first informative meeting on the adoption process and it is scary! There are so many options and this was just one agency! For Domestic adoption in the state of Indiana if the birth mom has a normal delivery she has 24 hours afterwards to sign the papers. If she has a c-section she has 48. After that she signs off but for the next 30 days she can still contest and try to gain custody back; but at that point the courts are involved. That is scary for the adoptive party in the situation. And since nothing ever goes smoothly for us that would probably be us…Also during the process you may have to pay for health care costs for the birth mom; if she chooses not to go through with it you could be out that money too…
We are now considering International which means some time out of the country and bigger expenses. Now Lilly gives $10,000 and my work gives $5000 but if we go out of the country that opens up a whole new can of worms. The children are older when you go out of the country and you are never 100% sure of the care they received. I will have to go back to work, after my leave, and you possibly get into issues with attachment disorders and such. So I came home crying and scared of the whole process right now. Nate of course takes everything in stride but it is overwhelming to me and there are still more agencies we need to check out because if we do go out of the country we want to know all our options. I know that it is the agency’s responsibility to give you all the facts, good and bad, but it is scary thinking about it. I know pregnancy on its own has risks and scares and you never know what will happen that way either but this seems to be such an emotional rollercoaster and there are many possible things to go wrong…Could be I am a worrywart to begin with but I just have to prepare emotionally for this. Honestly when it is something you want so badly any paths off course are worrisome. Please keep us in your prayers that God’s path is very clear and maybe even lined with bright lights pointing the way. I heard this poem years ago and really liked it, I think of it often; it was actually part of my quiet time today of all things.
Chance has not bought this ill to me;
It’s God’s own hand, so let it be,
For HE sees what I cannot see.
There is a purpose for each pain,
And He one day will make it plain
That earthly loss is heavenly gain.
Like as a piece of tapestry
Viewed from the back appears to be
Only threads tangled hopelessly;
But in the front a picture fair
Rewards the worker for his care,
Proving his skill and patience rare.
You are the Workman, I am the frame.
Lord, for the glory of Your Name,
Perfect Your image on the same.